86 reasons to hate the Red Sox...

86 reasons to hate the Red Sox...courtesy of "WAGS"


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Bad news about Madden '06...

It seems that the folks at EA Sports have decided to put the most overrated player in the NFL on the cover of the next installment of their Madden NFL game. Yes, Donovan F. McNabb will grace the cover of Madden NFL '06. The choice of cover athlete for this year's game corresponds to new QB vision feature in Madden '06 (see previous article). According to EA, McNabb can see out of the back of his head and that's why he's such a great passer. The myth of McNabb grows...let's just hope we don't get more overrated athletes on the cover of EA's other sports titles this year. Manny Ramirez was enough, but then we end up with McNabb on the cover of Madden. I'm sure David "Tedy Bruschi Jr." Pollack will be on the cover of NCAA Football '06 & Joe "Whiny Bitch" Thornton will grace the cover of NHL '06. Hopefully the Madden curse will continue with McNabb, even though nothing happened to Ray Lewis last year. I'm hoping for multiple leg fractures for Donovan.


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Save money on toys next X-mas...

http://www.bootlegactionfigures.com/


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Trash Sox/Yankees update...

I knew I wrote that previous article too soon. So, in game six between the Empire and the Garbage Pale Kids, Mr. Gary Sheffield was assaulted by a fan. Apparently, this assclown felt the need to give Sheff a flying elbow to the grill. He claims that he was reaching for the ball. What a load of shit! You wouldn't see this sort of thing happen at Yankee stadium. Playing in that giant dumpster they call Fenway must be like playing in front of the crowd from "Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome." It's the closest thing we have to European soccer goons.
I'm hearing from my off the record sources in the Unfiltered Underground that the fan was spouting racial slurs and "hate speech" at Sheffield. No surprise given how racist a town Boston truly is. That douche is awfully lucky, calling Sheff a "n***er" and not getting throttled to death. It's one thing to heckle players, it's completely different to assault them and act like a fucking lynch mob. Learn some class, Boston trash.


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PayRod saves boy's life, still gets booed

When will Boston fans realize that Trash Sox ownership didn't want to pay ARod and that's why they didn't get him?

http://mlb.mlb.com/NASApp/mlb/news/article.jsp


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It's sad when Bush actually has to lie...

http://www.nfl.com/teams/story/NE/8382641

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The Empire vs. The Trash

April 4th, 2005, a national holiday, baseball season begins. Right out of the gate, we get a home & home series between the New York Yankees and the Cock Sox. Apparently winning a championship in Bahstun makes you have heart problems. First Tedy "Hair Helmet" Bruschi has a stroke and they find a hole in his heart, then Terry "B'ham's Benedict Arnold" Francona is hopitalized for health issues. Lay off the clam chowdah, dickheads.
Things started out good for the Bronx Bombers, 9 to 2 win in game one, David "Fat Fuck" Wells got lit up, Kevin "What a Tool" Millar got hurt, & a walk off victory in game two. But, Mariano Rivera and PayRod took a serious dose of cough syrup. Rivera blew the save in game two and blew it again when Rodriguez couldn't field the ball cleanly to end game three. Is Rivera finished? Yes, well against the Trash Sox anyway. But, he did manage a save in game five. And, Curt Schilling got shelled in a AAA rehab start and in game five. Actually, I don't dislike Schilling all that much, he's a hired mercenary and he isn't totally on the garbage truck with the rest of those bastards. He did root against the Patriots in the NFL playoffs last season and didn't support John Kerry. That's got to count for something.
Although, Jason Giambi is clutch, and clutch is everything. Two big homeruns for him. Must be taking the 'roids again of course, because nobody can hit a ball with a bat without steroids. Obviously I kid, because I don't give a fuck about steroid use in sports, I just want to watch the games. Now, his neck did look much larger, maybe the witch hunters at ESPN need to look into Giambi again.
That cavedweller Johnny "Make Fire, Kill Meat, Ball Hit Bat" Damon still looks like a complete and total ass. I don't mind facial hair or long hair for that matter, in fact I think team policies about hair length and facial hair grooming is a bit ridiculous. But, when you look like you've been hiding in woods from the fuzz or chilling with Tarzan, that's too much.
Of course, now we come to the ring ceremony. "Something that hasn't happened for 86 years, " which I've heard over and over. Where Manny "Glad Bag" Ramirez, David "Big Pussy" Ortiz, Mark "Bolivian Flake" Bellhorn, Bronson "Peanut Butter & Crack Sandwich" Arroyo, & they rest of those fucking idiots get their ice.
The award for douche of the week is a tie between Derek "The Beast's Brother" Lowe and Dave "Monsters Inc." Roberts. It's okay to go to the ceremony to get your ring if you're no longer with the team. But, if you wear your former jersey, that's fucking stupid. I don't want to hear that they were forced to, that's bullshit, they had a choice. And, Derek Lowe stuck the knife a little deeper into the backs of his new teammates by saying that Boston is a great place to play and he wishes he was still there. I think Milton Bradley, Eric Gagne, & the rest of the Dodgers need to have a "blanket party" for old D. Lo. But, apparently, we're all in Bizarro world because nobody seems bothered by this. Only a small minority of people like Harold Reynolds, Joe Morgan, among others see it as betrayal. Of course, the liberal, east coast biased sports media sees no problem with it. Now, if any other team had won the championship, and former players came back wearing their old jerseys, ESPN and others would be calling for blood. You know they would.
Anyway, let's hope to see some more vicious feuds between these two rivals as the year progresses. I'd like to see somebody crack open Keith "BP" Foulke's skull. Plus, there will be the progression of Edgar Renteria, Matt Clement, & other new members of the Waste Management society from normal baseball players to Red Sox Trash. Holla...


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"Price Whores"

"I went over my minutes and I got hit with huge overage charges!" This seems to be the big draw of such "price whores," as my wife says, like Cingular, Verizon, & Sprint. They claim if you sign up with them, you don't have to actually be a responsible cell phone user. Maybe not in those words, but that's what they mean. I'm annoyed by people who complain about "huge overage charges." Is it the fault of fill in the blank wireless that you went over your alloted minutes? NO! It is completely and totally your fault. You sign a contract with the provider and agree to only use a certain amount of minutes, and if you go over that allotment, they can charge you per minute whatever they want. You broke the deal, take responsibility for it. Shame on Cingular, Verizon, & Sprint for encouraging the masses to be irresponsible. Parents, I highly recommend that when you get your child their first cell phone, make sure it's pay as you go. That's the only way to teach them that you have to pay for however many minutes they use. Next time you hear somebody complain about "huge overage charges," beat the shit out of that person for good measure. Until later...


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Madden '06 preview & the myth of McNabb continues...

Are these people laughing when they write shit like this...

http://sports.ign.com/articles/604/604010p1.html


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Some links for your enjoyment...

Interested in some deviant art? Well, check out http://www.deviantart.com/

Word up to "Large Geet," that's a hard G, bitches! http://www.largegeet.blogspot.com/


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Mike Vick...porn star!

http://sports.ign.com/articles/602/602086p1.html

My week sucked ass...

Anyway, so the pope died and I got sick. I work a catholic TV network, so obviously it was a high stress week for me. Plus, as my days off began, I got sick with what I believe to be a throat ulcer. Diagnosis yet to be ascertained, but it feels like my nasal cavity is swollen. Anyway, I'll get around to my much delayed article on cell phone responsibility and my article on the opening series between the necessary evil empire, New York Yankees, & the Trash, Boston Red Sox ASAP. In the meantime, check out these links below...


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http://www.thinkgeek.com/pennyarcade/swag/6fc1/
http://www.thinkgeek.com/pennyarcade/swag/7410/
http://www.thinkgeek.com/pennyarcade/swag/72ef/
http://www.thinkgeek.com/pennyarcade/swag/6b93/
http://www.stickerjunkie.com/